on wednesday, sept 14, our pet rat embe died from a respiratory infection.
i tend to associate my pet's deaths with guilt, so i am writing this entry to try to work out some of that guilt, as well as let people know about embe.
her life
i will try to write about her here so we can remember, but not to turn her into a little person or romanticize our relationship with her.
embe was our pet rat. we bought her in ottawa with her sister. her name means "mango" in swahili, and she lived up to it - she was sweet but kind of exotic, hard to "obtain", as it were.
embe was always more shy than ndizi, but smarter as well. if they were released into the wild, i would have bet on her to live.
most of the time she was also smaller than ndizi (except for when she was living under my parents porch and she gained a lot of weight because she was too scared to move around!). she was the runt and ndizi picked on her from the beginning. though at times we weren't really sure who was winning - the only one who had a serious wound (maybe from fighting, we didn't know) was ndizi.
embe was harder to find when she got out. she didn't always come when you called. she didn't fall off the couch arm rests when she was trying to get back into her cage, even when carrying a load of food. she was more cautious and liked to really know what was going on before entering a situation. this made her more nervous - she didn't take food from us when she was out of the cage. at the same time she liked her space more, once ndizi had forged a way out (say, jumping off the cage to the floor 4 ft below), embe would get out more, and stay out longer.
she was more calm than ndizi, could stay in one area for longer, and that was a comfort to us. like her sister (and me too for that matter), embe liked lots of different kinds of foods, especially anything sweet or fatty.
her death
i tend to associate my pet's deaths with guilt, so i am writing this entry to try to work out some of that guilt, as well as let people know about embe.
her life
i will try to write about her here so we can remember, but not to turn her into a little person or romanticize our relationship with her.
embe was our pet rat. we bought her in ottawa with her sister. her name means "mango" in swahili, and she lived up to it - she was sweet but kind of exotic, hard to "obtain", as it were.
embe was always more shy than ndizi, but smarter as well. if they were released into the wild, i would have bet on her to live.
most of the time she was also smaller than ndizi (except for when she was living under my parents porch and she gained a lot of weight because she was too scared to move around!). she was the runt and ndizi picked on her from the beginning. though at times we weren't really sure who was winning - the only one who had a serious wound (maybe from fighting, we didn't know) was ndizi.
embe was harder to find when she got out. she didn't always come when you called. she didn't fall off the couch arm rests when she was trying to get back into her cage, even when carrying a load of food. she was more cautious and liked to really know what was going on before entering a situation. this made her more nervous - she didn't take food from us when she was out of the cage. at the same time she liked her space more, once ndizi had forged a way out (say, jumping off the cage to the floor 4 ft below), embe would get out more, and stay out longer.
she was more calm than ndizi, could stay in one area for longer, and that was a comfort to us. like her sister (and me too for that matter), embe liked lots of different kinds of foods, especially anything sweet or fatty.
her death
she had been sick since we first saw her upon arrival in vancouver. she had a respiratory infection, brought on by the stress of the move. she was weak and had a lot of trouble breathing.
we almost took her to the vet last week but there was no appointments available, and she was so distressed by getting into the travel cage and car, that we just tried to take care of her at home.
she had a good last week, besides her trouble breathing, we were paying a lot of attention to her and she enjoyed apple sauce made from the apples from rusl and jane's every morning and night.
on wednesday morning we decided to clean the cage because the apple sauce made it stink pretty quickly, and she started gasping spasmatically. her actions were erratic. these were signs of imminent death we knew.
we booked an appointment at the vet, we put her in the bathroom with lots of steam, and she would take no food or water. however she would let us hold her and i think as she went out she knew we were there.
all in all it was only about 45 min to an hour that she was really suffering, and then, as i was trying to write an email to my school regarding missing a test to take embe to the vet, she crawled off my lap to the corner of the couch, her gasping slowed, and she died.
we are grateful for her life with us, and glad that she is no longer suffering.
where is she now? what did her little life mean? my dad pointed out how interesting it is that we could connect with such a little creature, and one that is so often thought of as vermin (sometimes for good reason).
certainly at the end she was comforted by our touch, and i hope that if anything at all we at least gave her some good food, a warm place to stay, room to run around in, and a safe environment.
we are called to love and care for all creatures, great and small, and that included embe. whatever it is that happened to her when she passed, we hope that now her wild spirit is finally at peace.
where is she now? what did her little life mean? my dad pointed out how interesting it is that we could connect with such a little creature, and one that is so often thought of as vermin (sometimes for good reason).
certainly at the end she was comforted by our touch, and i hope that if anything at all we at least gave her some good food, a warm place to stay, room to run around in, and a safe environment.
we are called to love and care for all creatures, great and small, and that included embe. whatever it is that happened to her when she passed, we hope that now her wild spirit is finally at peace.
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